what the FUNK

i lit my house on fire today. no fucking joke, i lit my perfect wasabi house on fucking fire.

i was smoking a god damn cancerous long and skinny; one of my ashes set the penthouse aflame. i had just finished a delightful granola and yogurt breakfast, lit up (like a fool) and went inside to take a shower. im not even going to front, im a pretty fast showerer. i changed and was doing my morning routine before class, when i hear yelling 'n stompin. the construction workers across the way were hosing down mah porch. the wood was even toasty, but then the fire department rolls up.

again, like a fool, i start freaking out (like a freak). lady firefighter escorts me to the out of sight and tells me to calm the hell down. blinded, gentlemen firefighters cut down part of my porch to check out the damage. the fools do more damage then good.

big j, mack daddy, and mista marv rolled over to help a lady out. needless to say, seven hours later, the backside of the wasabi house looks beautiful.

i am the worst housemate.


rule #1: don't set the 100 year old house on fire.